Developing the Habit of Gratitude and Thankfulness

Life is hard, it can be completely unfair and at times it can feel like we are lost in the bottom of a dark well with no rescue in sight. That was where I was seven years ago to this day. Lost, broke, emotionally broken and shrouded in complete darkness. My faith in God completely shattered along with my belief in self. The journey of hope, healing and restoring my faith in God and myself has been a winding road of ups and downs. Many times along the journey I have been bitter and resentful over all the pain and hardships experienced in my life. There was no thankfulness or gratitude in my heart. Then something began to change.....

As my relationship with Christ began to grow I noticed that God wasn’t the enemy. He also wasn’t purposefully trying to cause me pain and anguish. My life had been a mess and like a good parent God allowed me to experience the pain associated with my bad habits and behavior. I began to embrace the pain I experienced as a necessary evil in drawing me towards a life of service, love, faith and gratitude. I took personal responsibility for my actions in what I experienced and forgiving those that caused me pain outside of my control. Throughout this process gratitude and thankfulness were elusive. One moment I would be grateful for what I had been given and later in the day I would be griping about some other grievance. Being critical and ungrateful were bad habits developed over a long period of time. Habits like these can rarely be changed by willpower or motivation alone. Developing a micro habit around Gratitude is one of the few successful ways to change deeply entrenched habits. With Gratitude one key for me was starting small (surprise, surprise). Another as BJ Fogg PHD from Stanford says is tying a new micro habit to an already formed habit then celebrating the wins.

With these two things I chose the developed habits of getting into bed at night saying my prayers and making my bed in the morning. Those would be the micro habit pillars for developing gratitude and thankfulness. I began by saying one thing I was grateful for from that day during the night habit. And in the morning one general thing I was grateful for in my life while I made my bed. As that habit formed I added more things I am grateful for in micro (at night) and macro (morning) terms. This process also allowed me to trust in God’s infinite plan for my life and reduce stress in my day to day life. I feel more peace and my personal relationships have improved dramatically. There will be days I forget to be grateful so the rule of two is very important. If you miss a day that’s fine, just focus on not missing two days in a row. This habit is still a work in progress for me. But developing the habit of Gratitude and Thankfulness has had lasting positive effects on my mental health, faith life and personal relationships among other things. When is a better time to start developing this micro habit than during Thanksgiving!

Justin Studebaker

Founder of Dress 2 SOAR